At the time of writing, it has been 16 days since I have left the Singapore Armed Forces (SAF). It is still surreal to think that I no longer need to wake up at ungodly hours; carry load over long distances; adding a fullstop after table headers in crafting papers. After spending an incredible 9 years in the military, making the decision to leave was a difficult one. These 9 years were filled with immense joy, laughter, pride, and countless trials and tribulations. The invaluable experiences and friendships gained along the way are something that I will forever hold close to my heart.
Throwback to pre-enlistment, the 17-year old me was a bespectacled, lackadaisical youth with red highlights (yes, I had red hair once), multiple piercings, no physical prowess nor athleticism — living life as the days go by with no care for the world. I didn’t value the importance of family, friendships, academics, time and money. Simply put, I was a fool — chasing things that didn’t matter, idling my life away. Although I did hit Diamond Rank in League of Legends at some point… In another life, I could very well be a pro-gamer.
Come enlistment day, I feared for my life. I did not look forward to National Service (NS) at all. I shared the same sentiments as my friends — that NS was a waste of time, the discipline and regimentation etc. Then I thought, why not be a Transport Operator since I did not possess a driving license and at least I could gain something out of these 2 years.
However, it was perhaps destiny, that decided to influence my Commanders to send me to Officer Cadet School (OCS). It was perhaps destiny, that somehow, I enjoyed the Army life. It was perhaps destiny, that I met the right people, that inspired me to pursue a “career” in the SAF. BUT WHO THE F**K KNEW I WAS GONNA END UP PURSUING THE TOUGHEST SHIT EVER.
Fast forward many years later, having gone through the crucible of adulthood and life in the military, I emerged a renewed person. It must be the excruciatingly long marches — sometimes with a tyre over my head; or perhaps, the many times that I owed a duty of care to the people around me — that I found the hypothetical sacred scriptures and achieved divination. With steely (and small) eyes, I woke up, and put my life together.
I learnt the value of reflection, to be introspective, to be strict with oneself and tolerant of others, and that hardship was necessary. I learnt to listen, I learnt to be responsible. I found a passion for journaling, and reading, amongst many others. The John of today is wiser, more matured, more content, with a lot more tattoos. I am not exaggerating when I say that the Army has changed my life. And for that, I am forever grateful. Friends who are still around today, I bet my character arc was a pleasant surprise, to say the least.
To wrap this up, you may hear many things about regulars, or the SAF. It is not uncommon to hear negative comments of the organisation and the people in it. However, don’t let these black sheep taint your impression of the SAF. My humble experience is living proof that the organisation can bring out the best qualities of a person. In essence, I have learnt that it really is who you surround yourself with, and what you place your focus on.
“The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.” — Epictetus
To my dearest friends, brothers, sisters and colleagues who I have had the opportunity to work with — thank you. Thank you for your tolerance, guidance and friendship. I wish all of you the very best, wherever you are. If you made it this far, thank you for even taking the time to read my reflection. I am no writer, nor do I claim to be one, but writing truly is a portal to the soul.
John
